


break these bones till they're better

by Karturtle (karturtle)



Series: you ask me where i've been(like i ask you where you are) [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Blood, Brotherly Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hargreeves Fix Their Shit Au, Healing, Injury, Panic Attacks, Personal Growth, i guess i had a lot to say about diego, like seriously please be cautious because its a big one, mentions of past trauma, nothing too graphic but just to be safe, these fics keep getting longer and longer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 15:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18252689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karturtle/pseuds/Karturtle
Summary: Ben always had a soft spot for Diego.





	break these bones till they're better

**Author's Note:**

> _i want to break these bones 'till they're better_   
>  _i want to break them right and feel alive_   
>  _you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong,_   
>  _my healing needed more than time_   
>    
>  [-eight, sleeping at last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K99i5GF65to)
> 
> (thanks to brooke for being my proofreader and for leaving me little comments such as 'hey ace fuck you. bastard' during the fun scenes)

Of the siblings, Diego was always one of Ben’s favorites.

For a while when they were really young, like 4 or 5, he was the nicest of all of them. Soft spoken alongside his stutter. Nearly as empathetic as Ben, the first to try and help when something went wrong. Ben cared, but even at that age he shyly kept his distance. Diego, though, was always ready and willing to act. To help.

He stood up for what he thought was right, even if he would get hurt or told off. He’d called Luther a butthead many a time, even if his voice shook and stuttered- memories which Ben will cherish forever. 

If one of them (usually Klaus) got scraped up and hurt, Diego was at their side in an instant. He would take their hand when they started tearing up and help lead them to whatever nanny they’d had at the time. He’d stay the entire time and peek at them from behind whoever it was, frown if the nanny started scolding them, and helped wherever he could.

Back then, they were all on the same wavelength, the same path. They were all normal siblings and didn’t have any of the baggage. They knew they were important, but they were important together. They were all on the same level, and Ben remembers things being so, so simple.

Nothing can be simple with the Hargreeves, though.

Kindness and mercy were thought to be weakness in that house. Like most good things they had, their father uprooted them like a weed and replaced them with fear and pain. He was always harsh on Diego if he was being too soft, if he didn’t want to hit someone or worried his lip while father explained how to gouge an eye out. All reasonable things to expect from a six year old.

In one of their first sparring sessions, Diego had to fight Klaus, who looked incredibly nervous. Ben was nervous, too, sitting on the sidelines. It was kind of mean to make Diego - who took all of his training incredibly seriously because he wanted to help people - fight Klaus, who was skin and bones and still cried whenever he got hurt.

Klaus was always further behind than everyone else on his training and his conditioning, which Reginald looked down on immensely. He wasn’t lazy - he even liked some of their more intensive exercises because he got to burn off energy - but the combat stuff was just slow to stick for him.

It wasn’t fair at all, and Diego knew it. There was hesitance in his form when he stepped onto the mat, and he kept holding back every time he grabbed or made a hit on little Klaus.

Reginald stopped the match and chewed into Diego like there was no tomorrow, saying he wouldn’t tolerate him not using his full strength. Said that if Four didn’t take his training seriously, then he deserved it, and if this was a life or death situation, Two would be dead. He had nothing to say to Four - which told Ben that this was a punishment for Klaus rather than a lesson - and he barked for them to begin again.

Diego still looked nervous, but he was more determined, trying to follow orders like he’d been trained to. It wasn’t even a full minute before Diego had punched Klaus so hard in the face that he lost a baby tooth and starting crying. Diego immediately stopped and sunk down to his knees to apologize and stutter and help Klaus get up.

Reginald had crossed the room in a few swift strides, and he reached down to grab Diego’s arm in a firm grip. He tugged him away from Klaus, still sniffling, and told him to go to his room until Reginald had a chance to ‘speak with him’.

At dinner that night, Diego didn’t check up on Klaus, didn’t talk to him, didn’t even look at him. Whatever Reginald said to him, it was effective.

(But Ben has it on good authority that Diego had snuck out of his room that night to go make sure Klaus was really okay.)

It became a common thing, for Reginald to be critical of how Diego acted. It made his stutter even worse when he was put on the spot by his father and forced to answer for the crime of not assaulting one of his siblings on command. 

That was how the shift in ranks first got started. Reginald played favorites from the very beginning and Luther was his golden child. Diego was always, without fail, compared to Luther, and he always fell short. He was beginning to notice that he was Two and not One more and more.

At first, he handled it in a very Diego way- past, sweet Diego, anyways. Instead of getting _ too _ bitter, he tried to do everything that Luther did. Not in the competitive way it would turn into, but more like One was the big brother, and Two was the younger one who wanted to emulate him.

Ben remembers a day when they were all 9, and they were in the courtyard during free time.  Diego had followed Luther around everywhere for months, constantly trying to hang out and join in on what he was doing. It started out innocently enough, and Luther actually seemed to like the attention, enjoyed Diego looking up to him like their father said they all should.

But eventually it started to get on his nerves. Luther was trying to hang out with Allison that day, doing something impressive with his strength while she rolled her eyes and smiled. But Diego wanted in too, and wouldn’t stop pestering them despite Luther constantly telling him to go away. It was just an average little spat between kids, going back and forth while Diego complained that he just wanted to be included. 

But then Luther raised his voice, and everyone in the yard got to hear him snap to ‘just go away,  _ D-D-D-Diego _ ’.

Now, even Allison herself looked a little shocked by Luther making fun of their brother’s stutter. Diego tried to retaliate, his ears burning, but to his horror all that would come out was more stuttering. Luther had a self-satisfied smirk at winning the conversation, Allison shoved Luther and told him to quit it, and Diego ran inside as fast as he could and slammed the door behind himself. 

While all this was happening, Klaus was trying to find a lizard he’d spotted a moment earlier and Ben was sitting next to him in the grass, pretending to read while he listened to his siblings argue. Both he and Klaus looked up when things escalated, and Ben flinched when the door banged shut, peering over his book at Luther nervously. Their ‘leader’ noticed his siblings all staring, and he stormed off too now that he’d embarrassed himself in front of Allison.

Klaus frowned, staring after Luther with a lizard wiggling around in his clenched hand. Then, he and Ben looked at each other.

They were both thinking the same thing, but Klaus spoke up first. “If you help me find another lizard or two, I’ll take the blame.” And that was that.

In the end, they couldn’t find a satisfactory amount of lizards, and Klaus declared his new lizard friend ‘too good to be wasted on a stupid jerk like One’, so they settled for collecting worms and storing them in Klaus’ blazer pockets. 

Allison was still sitting on the bench, but if she noticed them rooting around in the dirt, she didn’t say anything then. And she definitely didn’t say anything the next day when Luther started yelling for Grace because his sock drawer was full of mud and worms. He’d later find that so were his favorite pair of shoes.

Klaus, of course, was punished and had to practice extra hard that week, but it was worth it for the hesitant grin that Diego gave them after Reginald was finally done with his verbal lashing and left the room. Klaus gave Diego a wink before following their dad out for extra training, but Ben stayed behind.

“How m-much of it did you d-d-” Diego paused, shutting his eyes and clenching his fists before making a frustrated noise and giving up. Ben was always pretty good at trying to find out what he was saying, though, and he had more patience than his other siblings. Diego seemed to appreciate it.

“Shoes.” Ben had replied ominously, and Diego opened his eyes and grinned again, toothy and bright, “ _ All _ of his shoes.”

Diego’s stutter didn’t matter so much when he was laughing so hard he was crying. He didn’t explicitly thank them, but he did start spending way less time with Luther, and more time joining the two of them.

The three of them combined usually meant mischief, with Ben advising against most of it but still going along for the ride. Diego and Klaus often dared each other to do dumb shit, or lied to get the other to try something ridiculous - the nine volt battery, for instance. Ben had slowly shaken his head at Klaus, Klaus ignored him and licked it anyways and immediately regretted it. That’s usually how it went.

Sometimes, Diego and Klaus would put their heads together and come up with something dumb for Ben to do. He wouldn’t want to, of course, told them how stupid it was, but they’d do the logical thing and start calling him a chicken. 

Peer pressure at its finest. 

He buckled pretty quickly if it wasn’t something that was going to get them all in _ major trouble _ . And there were moments where tiny Ben was roped into the worse shenanigans, getting caught on occasion. But much like the worm incident, he tended to play passive bystander when they were all standing in front of their father, and either Klaus or Diego would end up taking the fall.

That dynamic lasted for a few years, before things fell apart even further.

After years of being punished for it, Diego slowly started to grow out of his kindness, his softness. It was a slow, gradual change, but it definitely got worse after Five disappeared. They all fractured after that, but it was a tipping point for Diego.

During training he became ruthless, worked twice as hard just to keep up with Luther. There were less gentle words and touches, more bitterness and cynicism taking root. Without Five there with his snarky comments, his easy confidence and logic, Luther’s ego only grew, and Diego fell further and further behind. He knew it, too, slowly becoming more desperate to prove himself. He’d fight with Luther at the drop of a hat, usually lose, and then would lash out at everyone for the rest of the day.

He became closer to Grace than anyone else, and slowly shut the rest of them out. It started with her helping with his stutter- the first time he’d tried to ask her something and didn’t get his words together, he winced and prepared for a scolding. Instead of that, Grace gently put a hand on his shoulder and started coaching him through it until he got out most of what he was trying to say. After that, he followed her around, helped her bake and clean, and soaked up the kind and gentle attention that he’d gotten from nobody else.

There was always a disconnect for the rest of them with Grace, because they knew she wasn’t a real mom. Ben liked her, but knew she was just an extension of their father. That didn’t seem to matter to Diego, though, and eventually he spent more time with her than any of his other siblings, Ben and Klaus included.

They all eventually divided up like that- Diego with mom, Luther with Allison, Ben with Klaus, Vanya in the background.

Everything went to shit after Ben died.

Luther became more overbearing and authoritative, Allison slowly started caring less about the Academy and more about life outside it. Vanya was quieter than ever, looked like the weight of the world was placed on her shoulders after losing her two favorite brothers. Klaus was spiraling, drowning without his best friend.

Diego was.. he was angry. He fought with all of them, reactive to the smallest thing, and started defying their father more and more. He didn’t care about the purpose of the Academy anymore, he was just hurt and wanted to hurt everyone else in return.

At least he had some moments with Klaus, even if he was still ready to explode at a moments notice. Ben watched as he tried to take care of his brother in his own weird, broken way. Dragging him off the floor of the bathroom, scolding him the entire time while he set him in bed. Patching him up after a night on the town gone wrong, ranting about his carelessness.

It was backwards and bitter and sometimes did more harm than good, but Ben saw it for what it was. Diego knew Klaus was the most likely to be lost next, and he tried for years to help in whatever way he thought was best. He got in his own way most of the time- looking after a drug addict brother was hard, but it was even harder considering Diego was trained that kindness and gentleness was a flaw. But he tried when nobody else did, and Ben will always appreciate him for it.

Klaus left a year after Ben died.

Diego caught him sneaking out with a backpack full of clothes and stolen goods from their dad, and Ben watched as the last of the old Diego finally gave up. He lashed out at Klaus, not knowing how else to react to the abandonment, and they were both hurt and angry as Klaus made his way down the fire escape.

“He tried, y’know.” Ben had said as they walked away.

“Good riddance.” Klaus spat.

They didn’t speak of Diego or the Academy for a long time after that.

They didn’t see any of their siblings for four years after that. Klaus ignored his family's existence completely unless the Umbrella Academy Reputation got him a free score.

It didn’t last. It was just their luck that Diego showed up two years later as a _ cop  _ of all things. 

He found Klaus asleep on a park bench after someone in a precious, white, middle class neighborhood called 911 on him for ‘disturbing the peace’ or some crap. Neither of them were thrilled when Diego forced him into a patrol car with his supervisor and fed him the whole ‘anything you can and say will be used against you’ speech, then refused to talk to him during the ride.

Klaus was immediately on guard, never having had a good relationship with a cop in his life, and he was certain Diego would just throw him in jail for the rest of his life. Ben didn’t think that was likely, but he couldn’t say for sure- Diego pulled off ‘edgy, hardened cop’ pretty well, showed very little emotion except annoyance and frustration, and wouldn’t let Klaus call him brother in front of his coworkers.

Diego had very little to do with things as he was processed. But then, after hours of Klaus sitting in a cell, trying not to look at the ghosts wandering the station, Diego came in at 1 am and told Klaus his bail had been paid. He was free to go. 

Klaus and Ben had exchanged a look - the only person who knew he was in here was Diego, he was the only one who could’ve done it.

“Breakfast?” Klaus asked.

After that, they saw Diego around every now and then. Sometimes it’d be crime-related, sometimes Diego just spotted him walking down a street. Regardless of how aggravating or high Klaus was that day, he’d make sure his brother got something to eat. Even let him crash on his couch once or twice.

Usually their dinners would end in an argument, Diego often storming off, but he’d still take care of Klaus the next time he saw him. He’d always try to steer his brother in the ‘right direction’, much like Ben.

Once, Klaus admitted himself into rehab at Diego (and Ben’s) urging. Three times after that, it was Diego who admitted him into rehab, whether to keep him from going to prison or just as a last ditch effort to try and get Klaus sober.

Klaus never really appreciated it, never thought too deeply about how his brother was trying to help, didn’t like the constant attempts to ‘save him’. 

But Ben saw the tiny acts of kindness for what they were. It was obvious the other siblings had written him off as a lost cause years ago, and maybe Diego approached Klaus with a sort of ‘out of sight out of mind’ perspective, but he tried. Even if it was in his own callous, awkward way, Diego tried where nobody else did and Ben noticed it. Appreciated it more than he could say, especially considering he couldn’t  _ say _ anything.

They continued with their weird, sporadic meetings for years. Even after Diego’s cop job went to shit. Even after Klaus OD’d and Diego was called at five in the morning because somehow, he was Klaus’ emergency contact now. 

Diego once harshly said that he checked up on Klaus to make sure  _ someone _ knew when he had finally died in a ditch somewhere. Klaus pretended to be touched that he ‘cared’, Ben was kind of horrified because, well, it was probably true.

They both seemed surprised to see each other at dad’s funeral, considering they both knew the other pretty much hated him. Then they had to deal with the whole end of the world thing, and Ben got to watch Diego grow even closer with Klaus, giving him rides, talking to him like he wasn’t as crazy as everyone else assumed, helping him in that bar fight..

It was nice to see Klaus not being treated like shit, especially as he watched the rest of the siblings brush Klaus off as a useless junkie  _ again _ , too self absorbed and wrapped up in the apocalypse thing to bother. Pretty typical of them, but it still annoyed Ben to see it happen again all these years later. This was exactly how the Vanya thing got so bad.

Then, after all was said and done, they were 13 again and Ben had a body. He was becoming less introspective now that he wasn’t stuck being a wallflower, but he still saw Diego trying with Klaus. Checking up on him occasionally, sticking up for him if someone (Luther) started talking badly about him.

He did the same thing for Ben.

Klaus had a lot of his own issues to sort through, but Diego was as present as he could be with Ben. He’s the one who noticed Ben kept forgetting to eat and dragged him to the kitchen until he did. He always put a hand on Ben’s shoulder when they were standing next to each other, reminding both of them that Ben was alive.

He always knew his death had shaken Diego, but maybe he didn’t realize how deeply. Now, Diego was determined to be a better brother to him, to Klaus, to Vanya, even Five when he could. And rather than fighting Luther for leadership, he took charge in other ways, making sure his garbage fire of a family wasn’t suffering too badly.

He was still callous, always acted like it was no big deal, but it was obvious that Diego took Five’s whole ‘act like a fucking family or else’ thing to heart, probably more than any of the others.

Of course, Reginald was around and still lashed out at Diego, still punished him when he was too soft, too kind. But as with all of them, he barely cared about his father’s criticism anymore. He’d stay silent during a lecture, and maybe try and keep his kindnesses on the down low so it wouldn’t be suspicious, but they didn’t get under his skin like they used to.

He would be the first to come to someone’s defense in front of their father, though. Not just Ben and Klaus, though. 

He became Vanya’s sort of champion, alongside Five. Reginald didn’t do or say much to her, didn’t seem to acknowledge her unless he had a harsh word to say. Meanwhile, Diego made a big effort to include her, and was often the one fighting with father to let her do much than just sit in the background.

Five and Diego bickered a lot, but it was largely harmless. Diego often nagged him into going to bed, told him to stop living off of coffee, and meanwhile took care of him in smaller, subtle ways. Shoved a cup of decaf in his hands, made sure he ate real food (and stopped hoarding it in his damn room), and quietly snapped Five out of the moments where he seemed stuck in the past (future?). 

Five was the oldest and most competent out of them, and didn’t like being fussed over or taken care of, obviously. But sometimes his tiny 13 year old body looked weary and tired, like the weight of the world was weighing him down, and sometimes Diego would just place a hand on his shoulder to ground him, remind him he wasn’t alone.

It was one of the few moments of physical contact Five didn’t immediately recoil from.

In contrast to Five’s aversion to touch, Klaus soaked up any sort of kind, gentle contact he could get. Diego figured that out pretty fast once they all started getting closer, and eventually he stopped complaining when Klaus tried to drape himself over him. Or lean on him. Or throw his legs over Diego’s lap. He’d occasionally ruffle Klaus’ hair too, or even willingly hug him if Klaus was really losing it.

Allison was by far the most functional adult out of all of them, so she didn’t need as much help, but Diego often backed her up, and the two of them combined was a serious force to be reckoned with.

And Diego surprised every single one of them one day when Reginald was getting on Luther’s case more than usual, degrading him for his lack of leadership, and Diego started chewing their father out for it. It was obvious the power dynamic had shifted and Luther didn’t have much control anymore. And he was always the easiest for Reginald to control and manipulate, so needless to say the man wasn’t happy he couldn’t use Luther to force them into things anymore.

Luther didn’t seem to know how to react or what to do- as far as Ben recalled, none of them ever really needed to jump to his defense before. He gave Diego his lost puppy look the entire time, but afterwards he did try to tell Diego he didn’t have to, while stumbling over an awkward thanks. Diego brushed it off, uncomfortable, and eventually told Luther to ‘stop making it weird, dude’.

They were still working out how to be brothers and not fight each other at every turn, but their dynamic was changing for the better, and Ben was glad he didn’t have to stress over those two trying to kill each other anymore.

With Ben, Diego just seems to hang around a lot. He’ll sit in the room and clean his knives while Ben reads, and he was always around whenever Five was helping Ben train his powers. Every single time without fail, even if all he did was sit in the corner and fidget with something sharp.

Maybe he does it to reassure himself that Ben is really here, maybe he wants to make sure his brother is doing okay with the whole ‘alive’ thing, or maybe he just genuinely wants to spend time with him. 

Maybe it’s all three. Ben is never sure, because Diego never gives it away. Not with a facial expression or a concerned word. He’s just present in a way he hasn’t been since they were 13 the first time.

Eventually, Ben figures it out.

They’re on a mission for the first time since they got back to 13, and Ben thought he was ready. He really did.

He’d been working on his powers just like everyone else. Which- was slow going, and he always struggled with letting it be and coexisting rather that shying away from it. But he made sure he was being useful, even if he couldn’t bring himself to deal with his powers that day. He still worked on basics like hand-to-hand with Diego, reluctant strength training with Luther, and Klaus even helps him with some decent skills he’d learned from Vietnam.

So, yes, even if his powers gave him trouble, he was still useful in the field. He really truly thought he could do it.

It started going downhill when Klaus wasn’t allowed to go- It was evening after dinner and he was incredibly stoned, laughing at everything, so Reginald declared him unfit to join them. Which was fine, there was still Diego, Five, Luther and Allison. Sadly, no Vanya yet; she wasn’t ready, but he still had plenty of backup.

He just wished he had  _ Klaus _ as his backup. He was nervous without his anchor.

They put their domino masks on and all exchange glances before getting in the car. Five looks eager to be back in action, Luther was distracting himself by going over the plan three more times, which nobody really listened to because they already knew it. Allison has her mouth set in a determined line. Diego is already fidgeting with a knife, taut and ready to be pointed at some bad guys. 

Ben is- well, Ben is nervous. He feels so incredibly small, and his chest is tight with an anxiety he can’t place.

They’re parked a ways away from the office where the hostage situation was. As they get out of the car, Diego claps him on the shoulder and gives him a grim, nervous smile. 

“Good luck, bro.” He says, and seems hesitant to go. His hand doesn’t let go of Ben for a long moment, but eventually he and Luther break off to go sneak in through the back of the building.

“Just remember,” Five adds, “You’re in control, not them.”

He vanishes in a flash of blue. Allison gives Ben a reassuring smile as they walk a block to the building. Predictably, there’s cops swarming behind a barricade, flashes of blue and red lighting up the night, and random bystanders cluster around the police tape to catch a glimpse of what’s happening.

Ben can hear whispers starting up from the crowd at their appearance, how they casually walk through to the yellow tape in their signature uniforms and masks. The cops are all frantic and busy, but one grabs them both by an arm and scowls at them.

“You kids again. You’re always making my life hell.” He gripes, and doesn’t let go when they try and shake him off. Ben looks to Allison, who’s started glaring up at the cop. Even with the mask, he can tell. She’s having the hardest time being 13 again, with adults not taking her seriously.

“Just show up, throw yourselves in the thick of it, and leave the paperwork to us.” The cop continues, trying to pull them away, “One of you Umbrella kids is gonna get killed one of these days, I swear-”

Ben tenses and his chest tightens even more, but he can’t deal with this right now, because Allison has started smiling spitefully, and she goes up on her toes to whisper a rumor to the cop. Ben can’t quite catch it, too busy focused on the pounding his heart is doing, but the cop lets them both go with a kind smile and even lifts the yellow tape for them.

The other policemen have noticed and started yelling, but Allison grabs Ben’s hand and they dart across to the office building before anyone else can try and stop them. Positioned by the door, there’s no time for Ben to take stock of what’s going on before they get the signal.

The signal, of course, is the sound of a criminal screaming bloody murder followed by gunshots. They’re sufficiently distracted, so Allison tries the door handle. Locked, of course, but the door is made out of glass. His sister aims an elbow and hits the door with a brutal amount of force - perks of sucking up to Luther - and the glass shatters enough for two 13 year olds to wedge through with minimal cuts.

There’s nobody in the front room, so they start sneaking down hallways, using hand signals (Luther insisted they learn- Klaus and Ben immediately flipped him off) to communicate silently. They stick their heads in doorways, trying to find the hostages. There shouldn’t be many, considering how late it is, but that makes them harder to track down.

They find the building’s stairwell, a man in black knocked out at the bottom of it. Allison and Ben exchange glances. She shrugs and starts going up the stairs, and Ben follows while he struggles to keep his breathing normal.

They step onto the second floor, and watch as Luther sends a man flying through some cubicles. They found where the screaming was coming from, and now there’s just chaos- shots being fired, men shouting, all trying to get the upper hand on their brothers. 

“I’ll find the hostages, you go.” Allison mutters to him before she breaks off to the left, leaving Ben to go right. It’s a split second decision, he’d wanted to help with the hostages to avoid this exact thing, but he has no choice. He falters for a moment, stays low as he runs and ducks behind some cover, and takes stock of things like Klaus had taught him. 

Nobody seems to have noticed two more super teens join the party, all distracted with Luther being a beast and Five blinking in and out of existence. Ben is weaponless, the men all seem to have guns, but there’s plenty of cover in the room for him to take advantage of.

A knife whizzes past, signaling Diego’s presence too. It sinks into the throat of a man coming out of a hall right next to where he’s hiding, and Ben isn’t sure he can breathe but he forces himself to leave his cover and yank the knife from where it’s sticking out of the perp.

He refuses to listen to the sound it makes coming out, or the feeling of warm blood dripping down his hand, because his siblings need him and there’s another man coming down the same hallway, readying his gun at Ben’s forehead.

Ben’s instincts kick in and he combat-rolls behind the flimsy wall of a cubicle while bullets fire at where he just stood. He crouches in wait as the man shouts ‘there’s more of them!’. The man is distracted when one of the other criminals starts shooting at him- probably Allison’s doing. Ben takes the distraction and lunges from his cover to sink the knife in the criminal’s stomach, right beneath his rib cage. Remembering Diego’s lessons, he twists the knife in even deeper and drags it to the right to cause some real damage.

The man falls face forward, and Ben scrambles back just in time to watch Five get two people to shoot each other in the shoulder across the room. They seem to be handling these guys with ease. It’s practically child’s play, considering they all have the minds and combat knowledge of fully grown adults.

He has a moment of relief- maybe it isn’t all that bad if they’re already winning. 

Ben wipes his bloody hands on his shorts, and he starts moving to the next cubicle. He only gets a few feet away, however, before there’s a hand clenched around his tiny ankle, and he shouts as he’s wrenched backwards and his face hits the carpet so hard he sees stars.

The man he’d stabbed wasn’t as dead as he assumed. And, Ben realizes as he twists himself around to face him, he forgot to take the knife out of his body. There’s a bloody grin leering down at him as the knife is stabbed into Ben’s thigh and out again. He screams, and the criminal looms over him on his knees, yanking Ben even closer, the knife dripping with blood as it moves to stab him again. 

This time, the grin says, it’ll be lethal.

He’s frozen, watching the glint of the knife and seeing blood -  _ his blood _ \- drip down onto his uniform. Something in the back of his mind screams for him to move or call the monsters shifting under his shirt or something, but he’s frozen and he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he’s going to die again and he can’t move and he can’t _ breathe _ -

They shoot out on their own, black and inky and erratic, curling and twisting around the wrist holding the knife so hard that something  _ snaps _ and he’s forced to drop it, but the tentacles from Ben’s chest are moving up his arm and distorting it with cracks and pops sounding off as the perp lets out a blood curdling wail.

There’s shouting, but it’s hazy as he stares in terror, unable to do a damn thing and even more scared because the beast has been unleashed and he’s too frozen to control it. He lost control, and he feels their intent, they’re about to rip the guy to shreds, rip  _ all of them _ to shreds- but a brutal kick to the side of the guy’s head makes him drop like a sack of bricks, and both Ben and the Horror pause.

Diego is standing above him, staring at the blood in anger and fear, and Ben sees it in his eyes- he’s reliving the horror of Ben’s last, fatal mission just as much as he is. Diego pays zero attention to the tentacles lashing around- instead, he shouts for someone to cover him as he grabs Ben under the shoulders and starts dragging him back to the safety of the stairwell.

“You’re okay, y-you’re okay, B-Ben, p-p- _ please _ -” Diego chants, helping him down the stairs until they’re on a landing in between floors and the fight is only background noise. His brother immediately presses his hands to the wound on Ben’s thigh, and for a horrifying moment, the tentacles wrap around his wrists in response to the pain.

Ben is wide eyed and crying now. Diego locks eyes with him, growing pale as they start to tighten and shift. Diego frantically tries to tug a hand back as the tentacles tug him forward- something makes a loud _ pop _ , and his fucking brother who’s only trying to help them makes a strangled noise. 

“No, no,  _ no _ -” Ben screams, wrenching backwards and shooting pain down his thigh. “No!  _ Stop, no! _ ” His voice grows deep and otherworldly when he reaches forward and grabs the horror in both hands, “ _ You can’t fucking have him _ !”

There’s a second of nothing.

Then they both stare as the tentacles stop, and slowly start to retract. They’re dissatisfied, but for a second he almost thinks they agree that Diego shouldn’t be hurt. They disappear back into Ben without another complaint, and surely this is a victory to celebrate, controlling them, but he can’t breathe and he’s choking on sobs and there’s blood on his hands and he  _ doesn’t want to die again _ \--

“Ben-  _ Ben _ !” Diego looks terrified too, but now that immediate danger has passed, he’s renewing his pressure on Ben’s leg with the uninjured arm, the other at an awkward angle that makes him feel sick, “Ben, b-breathe, you’re okay, I got y-you-”

“No, no, not again, not again,” He begs, falling forward and clinging to Diego’s blazer like a lifeline, “I can’t go back, I can’t go back, please--”

“What’s his condition?” Five appears crouched next to them in a flash, his face grim. One of Ben’s hands shoot out to grab his blazer too, knuckles shaking and white with the effort. He won’t let his brothers go, he won’t leave again, he needs to hold on to the feeling of the fabric in his hands but it’s  _ slipping away _ and he’s hyperventilating so hard he’s seeing black spots and he’s  _ dying _ -

“He’s j-just got a s-s-stab wound,” Diego grits out, “But he can’t- he’s f-freaking out, I don’t know-”

“Ben.  _ Ben _ !” Five snaps, and Ben’s eyes dart to him while he shakes and gasps for air. “He’s having a panic attack. You need to- to ground him or something, make him breathe,  _ shit _ ,” Luther is shouting for backup, and he growls in frustration. “Hostages. I’ll be right back, Ben, just hang on-”

He’s gone again, and Ben makes the most pathetic sound of his life.

“I’m here, I’m still here, n-not going anywhere.” Diego says firmly. He keeps one hand on the wound, awkwardly tries to wrap the other one over Ben’s shoulders even as he hisses in pain. Ben clings to his brother again, seeking out contact and sensation like it’s the last thing he’ll ever feel.

“F-Five’ll be back, he’ll help us patch this up, just stay with me Benny, come on.” Diego says, “It’s not that bad, just needs some stitches- m-missed an artery too, lucky son of a bitch, it’ll be okay, but you gotta  _ breathe _ .”

Ben is lost. He knows the words Diego’s saying, but the meaning behind them seems far away and all he really knows is the pain and adrenaline and ice cold fear of slipping away.

“Shit, shit, shit, how did Klaus deal with-” Diego mutters, shifting so he’s turned more towards his brother, “Okay, Ben, put your hand on my chest, you gotta- palm down- yeah, that’s it buddy, right there.”

He’s trying to listen despite his haze, he’s trying, and he weakly puts his palm down on Diego’s chest, getting blood on his brother’s white shirt. Diego nods encouragingly, holds him just a little closer.

“Okay, you’re gonna breathe with me, alright? Just in and out. Focus on me. Just me. We’ve done this for Klaus, remember? You got this.” He locks eyes with Ben and takes a deep breath. Ben feels his chest expand under his hand, feels his heartbeat, and tries to follow along. 

It’s shaky and his chest is still so tight it hurts, but he tries to breathe for Diego’s sake. Inhale, exhale, feel the way Diego’s ribs shift. Inhale, exhale, stare at the worried lines of his face and the fear in his eyes. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

It gets easier after a minute, and he knows now what Diego is doing. He’s right, they’ve both done this for Klaus when he gets stuck in memories and ghosts. Somewhere in the back of Ben’s brain the logic behind it swims around, but he’s putting all his focus on his Diego. The tension in his chest slowly starts to ease, and he can take deeper breaths while his big brother mutters small encouragements.

After a few minutes, they’re breathing in tandem now, and both of them are less tense. “I think I stopped the worst of the bleeding,” Diego mutters, and Ben nods weakly. Now, with less clouding his mind, he can take better stock of things.

The sounds from the room upstairs have stopped. He’s sitting in the stairwell. He can feel Diego’s arm around him, feel the rise and fall of his chest, and he knows he’s still alive. He’s in pain though. Adrenaline numbs the worst of it, but he can feel the ache in his leg, and also in his face- when did he get a nosebleed?

Despite that, he falls heavily into Diego’s side, exhaustion settling over him like a blanket. After the rush of everything, Ben can’t stop the tears from rolling down his face, and he tries to murmur an apology in a small, hoarse voice.

Diego sighs and hushes him, tries to pat Ben’s shoulder with his messed up hand, tells him over and over again that it’s okay. Ben can hear footsteps, assumes the others are wrapping things up. He sighs and closes his eyes, soaking in the contact.

“You’re not dying today, Ben. Not again.” Diego’s chin settles on top of his head, and he’s muttering in that soft, caring voice that Ben remembers from when they were kids. “I won’t let you die again. Never again.”

**Author's Note:**

> HOO boy. hey whats up, im still writing for this series! ive just been stupidly busy doing adult things. like, working three part time jobs, taking big art commissions, playing roller derby, etc etc etc
> 
> i plan to do the rest of the siblings(even luther), as well as one specifically about and for ben. it just might take some time, because finding time to sit down and write is... hard
> 
> also, i have some extra scenes from all these fics that i had to scrap because they didnt work with the flow or plot, but theyre still gold. like, for instance, i have the full scene where diego arrests klaus for the first time. i might just add those on as an extra chapter to the fics, or i might make another fic entirely just for those odds and ends. regardless, you'll see them eventually!
> 
> as per usual, comments are appreciated! i try and reply when i can. also, feel free to tell me which sibling you want to see next. thanks for reading!


End file.
